Thursday, July 30, 2009

Small town news

Reading the local paper, I came across the following headlines:

Man urinated on City Hall

SAINT JOHN - Larry Christopher Buchanan, 47, pleaded guilty to urinating on City Hall and received five days in jail. He told Judge James McNamee that he was trying to reunite with his wife and children, but hasn't been successful. "I can probably say that your antics haven't helped either," McNamee said. (source: Telegraph Journal)

Man decided his boots weren't made for walkin'

Darryl Joseph Legacy of St. Stephen might have benefited from a twice daily walk across town. Instead, Legacy, 20, can practise pacing at the Saint John Regional Correction Centre, where he will serve a 14-day sentence for breaching a probation order to complete 20 hours of community service. Legacy did not show up at the scheduled times because..."It's a long walk," Legacy told the judge. (Source: Telegraph Journal)

But my favorite so far is the on-going Wafer-gate
scandal which took place at former Governor-General Romeo Leblanc's funeral:

'The story stated that a senior Roman Catholic priest in New Brunswick had demanded that the Prime Minister's Office explain what happened to the communion wafer which was handed to Prime Minister Harper during the celebration of communion at the funeral mass. The story also said that during the communion celebration, the Prime Minister "slipped the thin wafer that Catholics call 'the host' into his jacket pocket".

Perhaps he needed a snack for the long ride back to Ottawa?

Turns out the editor added unsubstantiated details after the reporters submitted the story. The editor and publisher have since been relieved of their duties. Read their front page apology below:

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Maybe I should get out more

My brother is a doctor and he calls this morning on his way to work to have a chat. I make small talk for a few minutes and then we have the following exchange:

Me: "Yeah, so I'm having this strange back pain."

I can just hear him rolling his eyes

Brother: "Uh huh..."

Me:"No really, it's in my lower back, it burns and it's weird and well...I think it's my kidneys."

My brother laughs out loud and puts on his best Arnold Schwartzeneggar accent: "Is it a tuuu-mah?"

Me: "Be serious! I could be having kidney failure!"

Brother: "You are not having kidney failure."

Me: "How do you know?"

Brother: "Tell me where you are having the pain."

So I tell him.

Brother: "Yeah, your kidneys are no where near there. You probably just pulled a muscle. Been lifting anything heavy, sleep funny?"

Jeez. What's the point in having a doctor in the family if he won't take me seriously? Pulled muscle - ha! It's my kidneys...I can feel it. Maybe mine are positioned lower in the body than other people. It's possible.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Top 10 things I love about being back in Canada

10. Being close to family
9. Breathing clean air
8. Drinking water straight from the tap
7. Shoppers Drugmart and its aisles and aisles of beauty products under $5
6. Tim Horton's coffee and chocolate dip donuts (drive thru only) (I'm not getting out of the car)
5. Having a car
4. Access to delicious, affordable food from all over the world
3. Watching current seasons of Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives (Don't judge me, you have some secrets too)
2. CBC radio. Particularly “Q” and "Arrivals" on C'est la Vie - not even the BBC can match the radio that is made in Canada
1. Universal health care (Admittedly, I've been out of the country too long to even use the system anymore's not everyday Obama gives us a shout out so I felt it deserved to be on the list)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A world away from my world

So I'm back in Canada, in the small town where I grew up, sleeping in my old room and visiting my old haunts. It's a beautiful part of the world: wild deer in the backyard, countless oceanfront beaches only minutes away and nothing but green trees, blue skies and the river to look at out the windows of our family home. That and the cherry blossoms and wild flowers that have taken over my parents' property.

I made one phone call to a childhood friend (we bonded on the first day of Jr High when we were the only two girls in class wearing new dresses -- her out of duress, me out of a love for clothes. At the time, I told her it was duress. The alternative felt too much like social suicide) and within minutes, I was caught up on a year's worth of developments: births, deaths, divorces, affairs, poisonings, daycare politics, contaminated poop, exchange students, work take-overs and lawsuits. Yep. One phone call and I got it all.

Dusty, noisy Cairo couldn't seem more like a distant dream.

Yikes! has it been that long?

So, I've been receiving irritated messages from friends who say they've stopped reading my blog because I don't update.

That's a little harsh, I thought.

Until I went to the web and checked the last thing I posted. Umm. oops. Ok, I'll be more on the ball now, I promise!